Friday, November 7, 2008
90th post, i dont seem to be smiling. Lol.
its weekend, ! omg, i've been waiting for this day since the start of this week.
._____.
im tired; physically&mentally.
its a mixed feeling of sad, confused, excited.i dont know how should my mood be now. :Oat the start of the year, i told myself i will enjoy.i have all my friends with me. guide me, teach me.towards the end of the year, i lost them. but my interest is still there, somewhere?those tears, scoldings, feelings, i thought it would be gone by now.but did they?...im not running away from reality. i know im lousy. my improvement is just as little as the size of an ant.im getting a little lost, i dont look foward to its everything.i know when i go there, i will just sit there alone, figuring out what the hell should i do.i told them, i tried my best. &they said ' WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! 'well, i dont know. i just know, this is my limit to your scoldings.i have my pride, i have my feelings. do you NEED/MUST to use all those words.everyone out there, same age as me, is having fun, learning something.but what about me? sitting at a corner, thinking, what the hell should i do next.i know, patience. but sorry, my patience is running out.dont force me to do things i dont wish to do so.i respect you, you dont scold me whenever you wish to, according to your mood.its going to be one whole year alrd, im tired&sick of all these.i will just shutup when you scold, scold whatever you want.to me, its nothing. im used to it. NOT trying to get used.its broken, it wont be fixed back.
